Cows & Prayers!

Run-through of Today

--After breakfast (beans and eggs, nomnom): I began organizing the bodega. The bodega is essentially a storage shed where all the donated items are stored. Additionally, about once a month it is opened for the kids to purchase necessities such as soap and toothpaste, and also clothes, cleats, bags, etc. They purchase these items through a ticket system so when they go above their typical responsibilities here they can ear tickets and save them to buy what they want from the bodega (necessities first, of course). As a place that functions as both a storage and a store for 130 kids, I'm sure you can imagine how quickly it gets torn apart and unorganized. So I worked on organizing some of that for the first hour or two today.

--I moved over to help in the kitchen as veggies were delivered and then began cutting up vegetables for an upcoming meal. 

--The other volunteers and I met with the padrinos and madrinas coordinators (explained more in the next paragraph) and talked about their roles over some drinks and snacks. 

--After lunch (chicken, rice, salad, tortillas) and soccer, we met as a volunteer community to begin a conversation about the rules and such that we will need to agree on soon. This included topics surrounding what it means to live simplistically here in terms of technology usage, food outside of the comedor, travel during time off, stipend usage, etc. 

--Finally, I got to go work in agro for a few hours and MILK THE COWS (pictures below)! Seriously, I loved agro. I milked one of the cows, fed the baby cow, strained the milk, played with the piggies, gave water to the cows, and helped the kids work on starting a garden. I'm planning to go back to agro on Saturday and Sunday to milk the cows in the morning. :) 

--I helped serve dinner tonight in the kitchen with one of the summer camp volunteers. I was handing out the mangos which are a big deal since mango season is ending so we have to get them while we still can! Even knowing that I wasn't prepared for how hard it is to keep track of who already got a mango when all I saw were a bunch of little hands coming through a window. Turns out one kid fooled me twice and ended up with 3 mangos.. oops! 

--Played with some of the boys near one of their dorms and they taught me how to do this thing with paper so it makes a loud popping noise. I felt pretty accomplished hah! Then I taught them how to play paper football with the paper triangles. They hadn't played before so I'm excited to keep playing with them tomorrow (even though I got my butt kicked tonight by one of the guys who is around 18). 

--Prayer circle (will talk more about this later :))

The Beauty in Community

I've been trying to think of a way to describe Amigos and none seem truly sufficient. Granted, I'm sure I'm in a bit of a honeymoon phase but this place is so incredibly beautiful. This week I've had the opportunity to shadow, help and talk with a number of the adults who work it. It's touching to see how hard they work to make Amigos one giant family. Some of the older boys (Amigos took in their first girl in 2012 so the oldest girl is only 13 or so) live outside of the hogar and the organization seems to work very hard to make what anyone is truly passionate about an option for them to pursue. This includes the directors, staff, volunteers, and padrinos/madrinas. The padrinos and madrinas have one of the hardest jobs here. They essentially stand in as parents for 11 or so children ranging in age from around 4 to teenagers. I don't know where they get their energy but I'm excited to learn from them and about them! In general, I'm very excited to continue learning about how Amigos runs/functions.

Perspective Shift

During our first bit of orientation in Copan, we were given a list of 25 or so items and asked to rank them on what we thought was most important in terms of what it means to "be a friend of Jesus". Some of the options included participating in nightly prayer circle with the kids and praying with your volunteer community. Again, given that my spiritual life is very different from what is seen as "traditional," I put these two last. However, after these last few nights of prayer circle, my perspective has definitely changed. We have prayer circle very night, except Sundays, around 7:45pm. All of the kids, padrinos, madrinas, volunteers, etc. come gather in a circle and hold hands. Everyone then has an opportunity to take turns sharing their special intentions. You know that feeling when something touches or moves you because what they do/say is so beautiful and you literally feel like you have heart strings that are being pulled at in all different directions? That's how I felt tonight at prayer circle. To hear so many of these children share how grateful they are for everyone in their life, their health, and the beauty they can see everyday is just... there's no words. I completely love it. 

These Kids!!!

I could go on for a long time about them already but I do want to sleep at some point tonight! But, what keeps going through my mind is how blessed and happy I am to be here and the power that lies in a hug. It's like one giant high every time I walk to the comedor or around Amigos and kids surprise you left and right with hugs and some comment, question, or action that makes you crack up. Also, I don't want to neglect the older guys here as well. Today we had a short break after lunch where I was able to play a soccer type game with the older guys and staff, some of which are around my age. The liveliness and community between them was very reenergizing and I can't wait to get to know them better as well (it's also additional motivation to keep improving my Spanish!).

Agro Pictures: My First Cow Adventure

Disclaimer: I'd have more pictures of kids and not just myself but we are not supposed to bring any technology or items out around them right now. The purpose of this is so they get to know us for who we are and not what we own. I'm looking forward to the point at which I can show you all how precious they are! But, for now, I hope you enjoy this obnoxious sequence of pictures from agro today. Shout out to the wonderfully creepy photographer, my beautiful gringo Sarah, because I didn't know this experience was being captured in so much depth haha

 

Almost out of milk on one side!

Nothin like a face massage during your meal 

When the cow first mistook my first as an udder... and continued to for the next 10 min...

Because holding hands is overrated. It's all about holding tongues these days.

"GIVE ME MORE FOODZ" - ms. baby cow

Adios, Copan! Hola, Amigos & Training!

My hopes for this blog is to not only share what I am up to over the next year, but to pass along the knowledge I receive from all the wonderful people I encounter here. I hope as you read my blog you are able to develop an accurate view of Honduras, rather than one that is solely influenced by the violence and homicide statistics/warnings in the media. I will do my best to be as accurate as possible by sharing all of the perspectives I acquire and plan to correct any information I later find to be inaccurate. I'd love to hear feedback, comments, questions, jokes, or whatever else you may have in response to my blogs so please don't be shy! :)

Re: Blog 1 

As I said, I want to be as accurate as possible. So, a short update in response to the last post when I talked about the man I saw get hit by the motor taxi. I asked my teacher if it was normal for the person driving the taxi to just continue along. Luckily, it isn't. The person is expected to stop and take them to seek medical attention/pay for their medical care if it is needed. Given the issues of law enforcement and corruption here, this expectation obviously isn't always fulfilled. 

Stories of Heartbreak & Hope

Throughout my last weeks in Copan, I continued to meet some truly incredible and inspiring human beings. I had so many enlightening and fulfilling conversations with people from the US and Honduras who have dedicated a great amount of their life towards serving the poorest of the poor. I've loved learning about the situations that occur in the villages in the rural mountains of Honduras. I feel so naturally compelled to serve those who truly have nothing/need the most. Still, I'm not sure what way I can best serve them but even before I can figure that out, I must first learn about what is happening from every viewpoint. I learned about the children who have no shoes and/or clothing, who go without food or solely have tortillas every day, who were kicked off their land along with their family in the middle of the night right before Christmas and stood in the pouring rain. Yes, it breaks my heart, but more importantly it motivates me and lights a passion inside of me unlike any other work or conversations have before. My heart aches to serve these people. 

I got the smallest taste of this work when I got to join my teacher and two of her friends visiting from the states. We went up to a village which is poorer than the village I discussed in my last blog post (La Pintada) but still better off than some of the more rural ones that are hours away in the mountains. The couple from the states had gone out and bought food and milk for the children, as school is oftentimes the place children go to receive any source of nutrition they can. I picked up a bunch of toys for the children and a couple brooms they needed in the classroom. The school consisted of one classroom with one teacher and about 26 kids ranging from kindergarten to older elementary/middle school. I was impressed enough by the fact that this one teacher taught such a range of students at the same time, but was even more amazed when I found out she is around my age, or possibly a year younger. Now that's dedication. That's inspiring. 

The children we visited at school :) I am standing next to the teacher and my teacher (yellow shirt) is standing next to the couple from the states. 

I've also met and/or heard of people who create incredible programs essentially out of nothing but that enable Hondurans to get work and/or attend school. At times, this apparently can lead to issues. Corrupt leaders benefit from people being uneducated because lack of education oftentimes means lack of any voice or ability to fight for themselves and demand systemic/societal changes. So, when some missionaries come to support Hondurans in improving their situation or fulfilling their dreams, it isn't always sunshine and daisies, to put it way too nicely. Being in the country with the highest homicide rate in the world, it's easy to imagine what might happen if you anger the wrong person. Still, this is obviously conflicting as many people come in simply with the mission to serve others and don't expect this would ever lead to them being harmed. Obviously this isn't the case for everyone, or even close to everyone, but it still happens and is interesting to learn because it says a great deal about the issues/situations here. As I've heard some of these stories (and hope to hear more) I am still just impassioned by this type of service. In my mind, it is far better to die doing what you love than to die an unlived life. ... Don't get scared mom, I plan to return to you alive at some point :)

Anyways, I hope this year will give me more direction for the future. I have been and hope to continue making connections with people here who might allow me to find out how I can realistically connect medicine and working with those in the world who truly need it most. Or, even more importantly, I hope this year will help me see if connecting medicine and missionary work is the best way I can serve others. Honestly, I'm a bit scared to see where this leads as I've worked extremely hard these last years to be able to attend medical school and be successful in that line of work. But, overall, I'm extremely excited and anxious to see where this year takes me. After learning more about the horrific realities of the poorest of the poor here, and hearing of ways to help, I did have to reflect on how Amigos is still extremely important in this journey of mine. Amigos is truly such a beautiful organization. It is essentially a miracle for many of the kids who become part of this family--their family for life. It is a family that will always be here to provide unconditional love to every member and serves/teaches everyone in such a way that they will become an empowered and self-sustained adult. I am feeling very blessed to have this opportunity as I know I will grow and learn so much in every area of life, especially how I can continue to best serve the world. 

The Next Step

Well, I my time in Copan officially ended yesterday :'(. I said my goodbyes to my teachers and friends there but plan to return at some point, maybe on a weekend off. I am extremely grateful for all the incredible people who made me feel at home immediately. I am also grateful for all the roaches who helped make my killing reaction speed much faster (I killed a big one while going to the bathroom the other day!!... TMI? Sorry, I'm too proud to keep this information to myself). Anyways, while I'm sad to leave, I am also excited to be at Amigos (where I will be living and working throughout this year). The kids are beyond adorable and there are so many exciting things going on. This week we (5 new volunteers an myself) will be shadowing different people at the hogar (meaning home in Spanish and another term we use when referring to Amigos) to familiarize ourselves with some of the jobs here. On Friday we will receive our job assignments! I'm looking forward to this part a lot :). Afterwards, we will leave Amigos again for another town where we will have teacher training for about 2 weeks. Finally, we will return and have a week or so before school officially begins.

The year-long volunteers :) ...minus Patrick :(

Today the kids, staff, and volunteers all attended mass in the town next to us, which we will do every week unless the river is too high for us to cross (in which case we will have mass at the Hogar without Eucharist). Faith/religion is an area where I have a LOT of room to grow this year. The other volunteers are extremely connected to their faith in comparison, which isn't too surprising given that Amigos is a home with a Catholic basis. Still, I didn't give too much thought to how religion would be present constantly throughout each day. I do consider myself to be spiritual (not necessarily religious) but in a very different manner than your traditional Catholic. The concept of God as something/someone familiar, a friend, or all powerful, is not something I feel connected to at all. Thus, I think I will be pushed to explore the spiritual aspect of my life. I'm not sure how it will go over but I am excited for the challenge. I don't particularly expect to adopt the view of God that others have here, and that I had when I was a child. But, I do think I will leave here with a deeper faith regardless of what that ends up meaning in the end. 

Some of the other things I have done at Amigos so far:

--Had meetings about volunteer logistics

--Played games with the kids (soccer, tag, jeopardy)

--Been introduced to grasshoppers larger than my palm as the kids like to throw them so they stick on you or put them down your shirt (I actually think it's hilarious and really fun but I'm not sure that I'm supposed to be allowing it! haha)

--Visited agro where there's a bunch of PIGGIES!!!, chicks, chickens, cows, horses, etc. I will be milking the cows at some point this week which I am super excited about! I also pet the horses for a solid 15 minutes yesterday, so maybe by the time I leave here I'll have grown to enjoy horses. 

--Eaten lots of beans and tortillas :D

--More things that I can't remember since it's after 11pm and all I'm thinking about now is how I need to get up around 5:30.... :P ....So, sorry for not proofreading this post!!

Some Final Thoughts

Everyday I think of things I want to share in my blog but then get overwhelmed by them all! There's been much much more going on than this but these are the things currently weighing on my heart and mind. I hope to update more soon but we will be cut off from internet access in our volunteer house for the first 3 months or so! Still, I will try to keep updating all of you who care to read my rambling nonsense :P 

Here are a couple pictures from Copan of things I will be sure to miss!

Mi Amor!!! If only I could sneak a dog into Amigos...

The most incredible Spanish school around with the sweetest teachers

And I will end with something that I have kept by my bed for the last couple of years and read at least once each day. I received this in a class at SCU right after Michael passed away and it has continued to bring me motivation and comfort. 

"I will not die an unlived life.I will not live in fearof falling or catching fire.I choose to inhabit my days,to allow my living to open me,to make me less afraid,more accessible,to loosen my heartuntil it becomes a wing,a torch, a promise.I choose to risk my significance;to live so that which came to me as seedgoes to the next as blossomand that which came to me as blossom,goes on as fruit."

Here's to the first weeks in Copan!

I have so much to share but no clue where to begin. So, I apologize ahead of time for the rambling and grammar/spelling errors that will likely ensue. One of these days maybe I'll get around to proofreading...

Here I go!

Prior to leaving the states I mainly just felt excited or something of that nature. Yes, as I packed and said my goodbyes there were some moments of sadness knowing I would miss the incredible people at home. Most of all, I felt blessed to have a place and community that makes saying goodbye tough, even being just days away from embarking on a journey I've dreamed about for so long. However, the only worry I really had was about the fact that I had yet to really feel worried or scared. But all in due time, right? Because as I got off my plane in Honduras, almost 3 weeks ago, the fears and nerves (or at least some of them) hit me. I saw everyone who was traveling around me were in groups and here I was: a small, pale girl who looks no older than 18 years old (& 18 being on a good day) with just a couple of months of Pimsleur Spanish audio tapes knowledge under my belt and a cart of suitcases bigger than myself. I finally felt a bit crazy. But just as I've done over these last few weeks, and will continue to do throughout this year, I reminded myself of the big picture of why I am here. That was good enough to get me through customs and immigration where many remaining fears were washed away. I heard my name being called and looked up to find a group of smiling, welcoming faces. I was greeted by a current volunteer (& SCU alum!), a group of young children who live at Amigos, and some of the older gentlemen who lived at Amigos and now attend university. Any residual nerves continued to fade away during our 2 or so hour drive back to Amigos, where we were greeted at the gate by all of the younger children. They ran up to Pat (a 6 month volunteer who arrived that day as well) and I exclaiming the facts they knew about us from reading the volunteer biographies posted about us in the comedor. One younger, tiny girl with a lot of energy quickly grabbed my hand, dragged me away from the other kids and motioned for me to sit on a bench with her. Later, I was warned, "watch out for her, she's a bossy one". I clearly found that out quickly! I think I'm going to enjoy her, along with all the other kids. :)

I'll try to save some of the details from here on out in hopes to not turn this blog post into a diary/novel...

So, we were given a quick tour of Amigos, ate dinner (beans, cream, tortillas and plantains), went to nightly prayer circle, and called it a night. In the morning we ate breakfast (beans, cream, plantains) and headed out to Copan, where I have been for the past 2-3 weeks and will spend a total of 4 weeks. I am excited to eventually get back to Amigos but I know I will be very sad to say goodbye to Copan because I have learned so much and met some truly incredible human beings. But before I get all sappy, let me tell you about Copan and share some pictures!

Casa de Doña Elena

I am living at a "bed and breakfast" but that is an extreme understatement. I am taken care of here far better than any bed and breakfast I've been to in the States! Where I am living is called "Casa de Doña Elena" and the woman who owns it is named Doña Elena (shocker there, I know). I am the only person from Amigos staying here but the other volunteers are with families close by. I've gotten to meet so many wonderful people at this B&B and continue to as individuals and groups come and go. It's refreshing and inspiring to regularly meet people who are so passionate about helping communities in need and taking action!

Casa de Doña Elena. You can't miss it with the American flag out front :)

View from the room I was originally in

Closer view

The view from the bathroom of where I am saying now. Check out the sweet mangos :)

As you can see, to say it is beautiful here is a complete understatement. Also, Doña Elena feeds all her visitors like we're royalty! Every morning we start off with a big bowl of fresh fruit, fresh juice, and typically a big plate of eggs, beans, fresh corn tortillas, or sometimes pancakes, or whatever other plate of amazingness Doña Elena cares to cook up. I challenge anyone to try and leave her table still hungry. After class, I return to another ginormous and incredible meal and again around 7. Below is just a few pictures of what I've gotten to enjoy here. I'm definitely trying to appreciate each and every bite before we head back to Amigos (which I will also refer to as the "hogar" meaning home in Spanish). I'm also trying to enjoy having my own room and bathroom before that changes as well!

Copan Spanish School

As I mentioned, I go to Spanish school Monday-Friday from 8am-12pm. Our classes take place on the roof of a restaurant under some nice shading--hands down the most beautiful "classroom" I've ever been in :). The format is like one-on-one tutoring and every teacher is awesome! I could go on and on about how great my teacher is but I'm sure that's probably not what you came to read about. Still, I have to brag at least a bit. First off, she's so patient and incredible at teaching. She doesn't speak much english but that pushes me to learn Spanish and quickly grew to really enjoy only speaking Spanish with her. Starting the first week we were already able to discuss issues like the government, corruption, violence, sexism, etc. Since then we've also compared Honduras to the US and discussed other topics like homosexuality, racism, poverty, education systems, health care, sex trafficking and so on... all in Spanish! No, not because my Spanish miraculously improved but because she is so animated and great at explaining things. We probably spend at least half the time just talking about different topics so I've learned a great deal about Honduras and the roots of the issues going on here. Oftentimes the topics we discuss are seemingly "depressing" but back home it was so aggravating trying to understand what was going on in Honduras through articles written by people who barely spend time here. It was refreshing to finally hear from someone who has lived here their whole life. One of the topics I've been very interested in learning about is the Indigenous populations who live in villages in the mountains. It's heartbreaking to know and blatantly see how corrupt the government is, given that money seems to be circulating from one pair of corrupt hands to the other, all the while people are living in extreme poverty. This is very clear in the villages, where I've been told oftentimes the only meal the children have is one that is supposed to be provided by a government run program. This meal typically includes beans and is what most Americans, and people in general, would deem a snack. Still, this meal frequently never shows up. The children are malnourished and obviously cannot learn when they are starving. Some children have died due to starvation in some of these villages. It's all part of the many vicious cycles that continue day in and day out here. Still, I've met so many people who visited Honduras for vacation and never left because the people are so incredibly welcoming. They're inspiring to a person like me, as I would have a very difficult time growing up in a place with blatant corruption and without a voice because if I tried to speak up and eventually began to gain a voice I'd likely end up being shot down, either figuratively or literally. In my view, the people I've met from Honduras thus far are strong and resilient. I'm excited to continue learning from them this year because I know if I continue to be open there is a great deal that I can gain and hopefully use to help in the future. 

Students and some of the best teachers you'll ever meet!

                                     

Our classroom

In addition to taking Spanish classes, I've also started teaching an English class to people from Honduras. I'm replacing a teacher who is visiting home in the states until just before I leave Copan, so the dates worked out perfectly. The class is for an hour M/W/F and two hours Tu/Th. Each class only has 2-5 or so students, which are teenagers and young adults. It focuses a lot on pronunciation and basic grammar. So far I've really enjoyed it and it's also helped me with my Spanish. Also, it really reinforces how much respect I have for people who learn English as a second language and makes me stop complaining in my head when I feel like Spanish is too difficult. 

The classroom and one of the students

Adventures

The Spanish school plans and pays for one event/adventure a week and then we are free to explore what we wish to on our own outside of school. Copan is a touristy area so there is a lot to do here including, but not limited to, horseback riding, the bird park, zip lining, hot springs, and the famous ruins. So far I have gone horseback riding (which, for those of you who don't know, is one of the last things I'd want to do.. but still enjoyed) and to the bird park. I hope to go to the Ruins and zip lining before I leave! I've also gone to La Pintada a few times. La Pintada is a village that is probably a 5 or so mile hike from Copan. It is a more rural area and far more impoverished than Copan but, from what I've heard, is better off than some of the more rural and smaller villages in the surrounding mountains. I enjoy going there because the hike is beautiful, they're known for weaving scarves and other items, and the kids are unbelievably adorable. The first time we went we did not spend as much time there but the following weekend we played with the kids for hours.:)

The "Photos" page contains a lot more pictures of these adventures!

I need to find a picture from when I had three birds on me (one on my head)!

Struggles

I think one of the hardest things for me this year will be seeing so many areas that I wish to help improve for those around me but being overwhelmed by not knowing what I can do or where to begin. When I see things that are different I try to remember that I cannot label them as right or wrong, but different. Still, there's things that I know occur here but am still shocked when I see them. But honestly, I hope there never comes a day where I'm unfazed by some of these things. So, here comes a few of the less fortunate times so far, some of which are serious and others being a more joking matter...

I discovered flying cockroaches. I'm not a fan. But everyday I have at least one standoff with a roach and more times than not I've come out as the victor! It's a good day when there's at least one less roach near me. In addition there are the ants, fire ants, mosquitos, chirping geckos, and god knows what other animals. I'm glad I practically grew up in a zoo because there's less for me to have to adapt to. Still, I'm not sure I'll ever enjoy roaches. Especially ones that fly far distances...

One of my flying friends. RIP.

So, I was warned that as a volunteer I should not be coming to Honduras to fall in love. I laughed it off because Honduras wouldn't be my first choice when it comes to visiting somewhere to find love. However, my heart has been captured... by a sweet and horribly malnourished dog. One of the other volunteers, Alli, asked me what I named him. We have been attempting to mainly communicate in Spanish (until we get to the point that our brains feel like they might implode or something too big happens) so with little vocab in my brain, the best I came up with was "Mi Amor". I try to feed him every time I see him and I often get looked at like I'm crazy. Yes, I'm crazy for this dog because my heart breaks whenever I see him. He is extremely skittish, which isn't surprising given his condition and the sores all over his body. I understand that the culture around dogs, and pets in general, are very different here than from the US. I don't think that'll ever get me to stop wanting to adopt damn near every dog I see. However, Mi Amor would be the first one. If I had a place to take him I'd quickly go buy him medicine and start getting him fixed up. :(

He really likes Doritos

He also enjoys some nice toast or pan tostada

One of the hardest things for me to see so far happened while feeding Mi Amor last weekend. Here there are moto taxis everywhere and they go very fast. Also, the legal system here is different than in the US and in some/many cases is simply nonexistent. With that being said, suddenly I saw a man get hit by a moto taxi and slam into the ground. This is one of those situations where I was in shock and the shock only continued, even though I know this is how things are here. Anyways, Alli walked over and I followed after to see if he was okay. The moto taxi stopped for a moment but went on its way soon after. Luckily, there were people from Copan who also came to help the man and make sure he stayed awake. Not speaking enough Spanish, I wasn't sure what I could do so Alli and I went to buy him some more water and were at least happy to see others who were able to talk with him and help him better than we could. We eventually continued to the cafe we had originally been heading to so that we could study but it wasn't too easy to focus after that. I couldn't help but compare to what would have happened in the US--a fat lawsuit. But I remind myself, it's different. 

That all happened last Saturday, which continued to be an eventful day. As I headed to bed I suddenly felt very very sick. I was up sick all night, eventually developing a fever and intense pain in my head, neck, lower back, knees, ankles, and wrists. When I heard Doña Elena was up I went to tell her how I was feeling and the first thing she said was Chikungunya. Still, I'm not sure what it is that I'm recovering from. But what I am grateful for is all the amazingly caring and helpful people around me. Doña Elena and many others staying/living here, including a doctor, have checked on me regularly throughout the days. My teachers from Spanish school were also coming by at least once a day and took me to get medication. Alli, and at times the other volunteers, have come by to bring me gatorade and help however they could. As everyone knows, it's no fun being sick away from home but having people who make this place feel like home makes everything a whole lot easier! Tomorrow I finally get to try and go back to school again and I cannot wait! :)

Wrapping up...

There was so much to talk about and I didn't even touch upon half the things I hoped to. In the future I'll be trying to post regularly and hopefully keep them a bit more brief! Thanks for reading! I'll end on this note...

"Cultivate the

habit of being grateful

for every good thing

that comes to you, 

and give thanks continuously. 

And all things have

contributed to your advancement,

you should include

all things in your gratitude."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson